There are some occasions when traveling and living abroad is not all swirls of new flavors and cultures and excitement. There are some occasions when traveling and living abroad is being lonely and uncertain and craving familiarity and comfort. Though these occasions are not the most enjoyable moments, there is an incredible amount of learning and empathetic growth and visceral understanding that occurs within them. One such occasion was the revenge of street food in Kolkata. Another was leaving Lukin for another three-month stint of an echo-ridden-few-and-far-between Skype relationship. And I'm in the midst of another of those occasions now. I am sitting in my pyjamas sipping peppermint tea with my friend Lucy- who was my roommate in Taiwan many years ago- in her home in Beijing. Lucy has been a good friend and a good nurse over the last few days as I've been recuperating from a reaction to the malaria medication I was taking in India.
I'm dealing with some of this medication's side effects including dizzy spells and bouts of anxiety, and came North from Kunming see big city doctors in Beijing. Happily, I've have had the chance to spend some time with Lucy while I'm here as she has opened her home and here DVD collection to me while I heal. The doctors all say that my symptoms are temporary and will go away with time, which is good to hear. It might take a while as the half life of mefloquine (the anti-malarial I was taking) can be anywhere from 10 to 40 days! This is where the empathy and understanding come in. Being dizzy is fun when you're 8 and spinning around with your forehead on an upended baseball bat before trying to run in a straight line (or even when you're a fully grown woman spinning around with your fully grown brother, both with foreheads on bats) but it is a difficult state of being to incorporate into a daily routine in land where something as mundane as grocery shopping is a major endeavor and apartments and classrooms are all on the seventh or eighth floor of elevator-less buildings. It has been and still is a reminder to me of the amazing state of being that is a clean bill of health and a clear head. Though I'm certainly not pleased to be spinning about China, I am trying to be appreciative of this opportunity practice empathy towards folks who are chronically affected by this type of thing, and to not take clear-headed grocery shopping for granted. As for anxiety, well, I've never dealt with anything like anxiety. The baseless sinking feeling and concurrent rise of nervousness, as though panic is being poured into you. It comes out of nowhere and it lasts only minutes at a time, but it's awful. Fortunately for me, my anxiety symptoms are rapidly decreasing in both frequency and duration will eventually disappear, unlike folks who struggle with anxiety that has no half-life. To understand on a gut level the sad fear of this affliction has been sobering and mind-broadening. I hope to take these pieces of learning forward from this experience and be more conscious of and sensitive to people who carry with them burdens that are hidden in their heads.
I'm heading back to Kunming for another week of rest before I rejoin my co-instructors and students for a semester of study and travel. I'm looking forward to diving once again into an 18 year-old-world and seeing China through the eyes of travelers here for the first time. I learn a lot from my students. I am also looking forward to spending some time with my Kunming homeys and sharing stories of what we've been up to these past couple of months. It will be good to get back to a place that feels like home. In hopes of sharing the past couple of months with you, I've posted a few pictures that signify some of the amazing occasions of traveling that help even out the not so amazing ones.
